Everyone Has Something to Teach You

Why you should build your tribe with people who are well read in different subject matters

The other day, I received an Instagram DM from a master coach at the jiu-jitsu academy where I train. It read “I had no idea you liked to hunt! I have some questions about some optics”.

We ended up chatting for a good while about rifles, hunting scopes, and outdoor gear. If you love gear and trinkets, you know that these conversations can go on forever. In fact, we still have an ongoing thread!

It got me thinking - dang, here’s a guy who is an expert in jiu-jitsu (I don’t think any black belt will tell you they’re an expert by the way, but a very advanced and skilled practitioner) asking me for advice about a domain I know well.

It was a very cool reminder of something I already knew: everyone you meet has something to teach you.

Sure, anyone can be an expert or well-read in certain areas. But many times, people let that knowledge and status go to their heads, thinking they are an expert in everything. We’ve all met this kind of person.

Those types of people are usually no fun to be around - at least until you catch them slipping and put them in their place with an intellectual ass-whoopin’.

This might be because no one has ever knocked them off their high horse or because they are too insecure to look like a beginner by asking questions.

This is one of the things that makes being a part of a jiu-jitsu academy so great. Sure, there are tons of people who are much better than you in any given class, but dang nearly everyone you meet is humble enough to know that they can learn from people of all skill levels.

If you’re the smartest one in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

All too often, you see people get complacent by surrounding themselves with people they have nothing to learn from. Even worse, they surround themselves with people who actually bring them down a level with bad habits, bad attitudes, and bad work ethics.

I get it, no one likes to feel inadequate or like they have nothing to contribute. So it’s really easy to put yourself in situations where you’re the smartest person in the proverbial room. The problem here is that it gives you a false sense of security in that you might not be as great as you think you are.

To use jiu-jitsu as an example again, if you are a blue belt who only attends white belt classes and beats up on beginners, what happens when you roll with someone who is a blue belt but only rolls with people who are better than them?

You don’t have to know about jiu-jitsu to know that the person who seeks challenges outside their comfort zone will be much better equipped to handle challenges than the one who stays in their bubble of safety.

Read that again, but insert your chosen field or hobby - It’ll ring true no matter what that is.

Building your tribe

In the old days, it was best to diversify your tribe with people of different skill sets and ways of thinking to ensure everyone's survival. Fast forward to today and that is one of the biggest issues with our education system and society in general.

People are too complacent with where they are in life, so they tend to not seek outside challenges where they are perceived as new, or a beginner.

This is why the hardest step to take in any journey is that first step, as it likely took you a great deal of courage to take that first step in the gym, or class, or new life course.

It’s also important to diversify the people you hang out with. I’m not saying you need to discard your current group of friends, (unless all they do is spend their weekends partying without goals or aspirations) but you need to actively make an effort to meet people and befriend new people if they are experts in a field you want to learn more about.

When you start to diversify the types of people you can text, call or meet up with for advice on various subject matters, your own potential for success will multiply.

Starting this can be as simple as following people on social media. You just have to be careful here because there are more snake oil salespeople on social media than genuine people trying to help.

Beware of the pitfalls and narrowing your focus

But do beware of relying ONLY on social media for your information. The other side of the coin are people who think they’re experts in everything when really, it’s just parroted surface level information they got a social media influencer with something to sell.

Unfortunately, many people today believe they are educated about topics by watching 30-second reels or TikToks on any given matter.

This is exacerbated by the fact that everyone in schools is taught the same things in the same manner to churn out a standardized “productive” members of society. AKA, employees. 

These “college-educated” types go around waving their paper diplomas insisting that they should be listened to because they received an education from their government-sponsored institution that also teaches them outside ideas are dangerous or inferior because they weren’t properly vetted.

This is why the biggest lesson we can learn is that it’s OK to NOT know everything.

Take action: Talk to someone in your community that you admire and want to learn from. Send that person you’ve been following a DM about how much you’ve learned from them and start building a relationship. Small steps here will put you on a path to learning anything you’d like.

I don’t need to be the best cook in my tribe, or the best mechanic, or technical genius. But it is important that I build my tribe with genuine, trustworthy people who I know dedicate their lives to being those things.

And it is equally as important to be receptive and humble enough to not be afraid of looking foolish and asking questions with a growth mindset and willingness to listen and learn what others have to teach you.

-Sebastian

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