Keeping Promises to Ourselves

The story of my most recent half marathon

This newsletter is being written from a very comfy couch in a VRBO in Sedona. Why am I here? This morning I ran my 6th half marathon. 

However, it was very unlike all the other half-marathons I’ve run. Those I ran in college and right after graduating, still being a consistent runner. All through middle and high school, and then college, I ran. That was my thing.

When I wanted to exercise, I would go for a run. I enjoyed it and it came naturally to me. Then, a year or two after college, my knees began to hurt while running. It just didn’t feel as good on my body as it once had. 

That’s when I began getting into weight-lifting. Fast forward three years later and my main workout routine has been weight-lifting mixed with hiking and yoga. I’ve come to really enjoy these activities- challenging myself physically in a whole new way.

Last year, my dad and I saw that there was a half marathon in Sedona, one of the most beautiful places we both have ever been to. We used to always enter races together when I was younger, including all the half marathons I’ve run, and decided we would give this one a go. After all, it was a great excuse to spend a weekend in Sedona! 

Well, it hit October, and my training was supposed to begin. I kept putting it off one week, then another week, and then come December and I still hadn’t started my training. I just wasn’t as excited about running as I once was.

Once I finally began training, it started out rough. I could do 3-5 miles just fine, but it wasn’t fun. My legs felt way heavier than they ever had before. Like two bricks were tied to them. It was completely different running long distances now that I had so much more muscle! 

I quickly realized that I couldn’t run long distances and weight train my legs at the same time. It was just too much on my legs, making them sore for my running days. 

When I initially built my training plan, I scheduled three runs a week. Well, I don’t think I ever ran 3 times in one week. I’d typically do a shorter run and then my one big long run. In fact, the only thing I was consistent about was my one long run a week. I knew I couldn’t skip these and survive the half marathon in one piece. I was at least smart enough to be disciplined with those. 

However, I skipped a lot of runs that I had planned. I never did the 3 and 5-mile runs each week to supplement the long runs. I cut my 10-mile run at the end of my training to only 6 miles. I didn’t feel good about it, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

BUT I still showed up to race day and committed to what I signed myself up for.

My mom begged me to do the 10k race or to even walk some of the hills, but there was no way I was doing either of those things. I made a promise to myself to run this half marathon and that is exactly what I was going to do, whether I was ill-prepared or not. I made my bed so now I had to lie in it.

I was able to finish the race in just under 2 hours and 10 minutes. I didn’t walk a single uphill, keeping my legs moving the entire time. Was it fun? At times no. But at other times, yes. I think part of me got lucky that the race was so beautiful, taking away from the pain. 

It definitely was not my best half-marathon time but I am happy that I started and finished, even knowing I hadn’t prepared as I should have. 

Why am I telling you all this?

Well, I think it’s a good lesson to keep the promises we make to ourselves. A lot of times we can make these promises easier on ourselves or harder, depending on how we prepare and the attitude we have. 

I could have easily chosen to run 6 miles instead of 13. But what good would that have done for me? Showing myself that I can take the easy way out of things when I’m lazy? That wouldn’t have helped me. 

It’s up to you to make your goals easy or hard. By properly preparing, you can achieve what you want with little force. However, when we don’t prepare, we end up making things harder on ourselves.

Let yourself down once and you will continue to let yourself down. This will lead to guilt, depression, and failure. Always make the promises you keep to yourself. Because how they end up is entirely up to you. 

Take Action

What promises have you made to yourself that you aren’t keeping? Why aren’t you following through with it? How does this make you feel?

I recommend journaling the answers to these questions or even meditating on them.

If you find you are experiencing a lot of the emotions that come with breaking promises, maybe you need to start keeping these promises in order to get out of that negative head space.

“I don’t stop when I’m tired, I stop when I’m done.”

- David Goggins

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!

Madison