More Smoking, Less Stress

The secret to longevity according to the French

I write this week’s newsletter from a little cafe in Bordeaux, France. I sit at a bistro table facing the pedestrians walking by, sipping on an iced tea (sorry, no wine here). When in France, do as the French do (kind of).

I’ve been in France for a week now, spending most of my time at a work retreat at a chateau in Chantilly. As someone with a solid health and wellness routine, traveling is always interesting.

I can no longer cook my own meals. Desserts are expected every night. Walking takes the place of yoga and weight lifting.

Coming here, I was expecting the dairy to be much more tolerable than back home. Surprisingly, I can actually tolerate dairy just fine at home. Given I do drink mostly raw dairy. But when I have a coffee at a cafe, for example, I can drink their pasteurized milk without a problem.

After having some cheeses and even yogurt in France, I immediately felt it. I did not feel good. Something about it did not agree with me. It also doesn’t help that protein is very limited, with breakfasts consisting of croissants and dinners being mostly cheeses.

The eating patterns in France are almost the exact opposite of mine at home. Sweets and carbs for breakfast. Low protein throughout all meals. Many, many glasses of wine. Dinner late at night.

So why are the French still way healthier than Americans?

Not only do the French not eat the best, they also constantly smoke cigarettes.

In fact, I can’t sit at this cafe without a puff of cigarette smoke wisping its way into my face.

At this point, we all know cigarettes aren’t good for us. They’ve been shown to increase the risk of heart disease, stroke, and lung cancer. However, despite constantly smoking, the French still have a better life expectancy than Americans.

In France, 30% of people smoke while in the US only 16% of people do. Yet our life expectancy is 5 years shorter on average!

My theory?

The French do not stress.

Americans, on the other hand, normalize stress.

We are taught from a young age that we need to work hard and make good money in order to be valuable to society.

The French know how to slow down, enjoy where they’re at, and relax with their friends and family. They simply don’t stress the way Americans do.

Work? It can wait. Their businesses? They can afford to close when they want to. A glass of wine? Always. Relaxing at a cafe? Necessary.

While many people claim the quality of food in Europe is better, I don’t think that is always the case. They have gluten, pasteurized dairy, and processed foods in their everyday diet just like we do.

But the culture and what is normalized is entirely different.

Modern life breeds stress.

Stress was once the reason for our survival. Stress allowed us to run away from our predators and towards safety. It motivated us to seek food and shelter when living conditions became harsh.

Instead of our energy going towards processes like digestion and immunity, we activated “fight-or-flight” to help us run and fight. Now, we are constantly in “fight-or-flight” with our bodies attacking our guts and immune systems, lowering our quality of life.

We watch the news and learn about the bad things happening thousands of miles away from our homes.

Our ancestors were only ever concerned with the few-mile radius around them.

We scroll through social media, comparing ourselves to those that have more.

Our ancestors never compared themselves to others. They lived in the moment and enjoyed exactly where they were.

We work from dusk to dawn, pressured to produce more and more in order to make the companies we work for even more money.

Our ancestors only did the work they needed to in order to survive.

American work culture

The modern American society breeds stress. Work has become the sole purpose of our lives rather than our community and our own individual happiness.

Think about it - when’s the last time someone asked what makes you happy when they meet you? Instead, we ask, what do you do for a living?

Everything revolves around work.

We need to be the first to the office and the last ones to leave. We need to constantly be online, answering our boss’s every beck and call. If not, we are looked at as lazy.

This constant need to perform and always be connected to technology disregulates our nervous systems. If we don’t meet our deadlines, we will be fired for someone better and left on the streets to suffer.

We are always in survival mode.

Why the French don’t stress

I’ve noticed that the French truly enjoy their leisure time. They don’t spend it inside their homes watching hours of TV or mindlessly scrolling through social media.

They spend it at cafes with good company.

When they get off of work for the day, they are truly off. There is no competition for who can stay later. They have plans after work that they must get to. There’s no checking their email at happy hour- they are truly present with the people they are with.

In fact, even in the middle of the workday, they make time to enjoy themselves. Many people go for long lunches with their colleagues, enjoying a delicious meal, a cigarette, and a glass of wine.

Do you need something to be done? It can wait until after lunch.

The work-life boundaries are clear. They don’t work to live. Work is just something they do to support their lifestyle.

In fact, most coffee shops don’t even allow you to sit with your laptop in the cafe. If they do have wifi, it’s shut off on the weekends.

One of the cafes I went to made everyone on their laptops go to a back room away from the front of the shop. The French want their cafes to be a place to socialize and enjoy the pleasure of a cup of coffee, not to work.

While this was a bit disappointing to me, as I love to work in coffee shops, I respect it. They want to encourage people to talk to one another and enjoy the products they are producing.

Community calms

While French culture does not revolve around work, it also revolves around community. I don’t think you can have one without the other.

The French are always socializing. They are meeting for a drink right after work or spending time together at lunch. You rarely ever see someone alone.

This in itself has to be another reason why the French don’t stress.

They have an amazing support system that they surround themselves with!

As Americans, many of us don’t even know our neighbors. We actively try to not talk to other people. We wear our Airpods in our ears constantly, deterring any type of interaction.

At the manor I stayed at in the countryside, the owners would have their friends over every night for dinner in the garden. They would cook, laugh, and spend time outside. They were enjoying their life with one another, and no technology was needed.

I don’t know about you, but I would love to have dinner parties every night with my friends. That sounds like a full and rich life.

Take action: Close your laptop at approximately 5 p.m. this Friday. Turn off your Slack notifications for the weekend and don’t check your email. Invite your friends over to enjoy a home-cooked meal outside under the moonlight.

I’m planning to invite our closest friends over for dinner when I’m back from France, cooking them some of the recipes I learned from a chef in Dordogne. Stay tuned- I’ll be sharing these recipes with you in a few weeks!

If you do end up throwing a dinner party, tag us on Twitter (X?) with a photo of your spread.

And remember- we are meant to live our lives like the French. The next time you are stressing, ask yourself- what would the French do?

Madison