The Drug of Distraction
Why we use our phones to fight boredom, the dangers that brings, and how to fix it
A few days ago, Maddie and I were at our favorite wellness center going about our normal recovery routine. Compression therapy, sauna, and cold plunge.
The room is dark, lit only by the soft red and amber lights that every biohacker loves to utilize when the sun goes down. A subtle ethereal beat echoes throughout the studio, sending you into an instant state of relaxation.
While we were getting our compression therapy done, we looked around us and then looked at each other thinking the same thing… Every single person in a chair had their phone out and, like zombies, were mindlessly scrolling on it.
Here we were, in a wellness studio, where people come to disconnect and recharge their minds and bodies, but people couldn’t seem to disconnect from their phones.
It got us thinking… More and more people cannot stand to be bored. This goes for all age groups! Sure, it’s easy to say that generations that were practically born with a phone in their hand are the main groups, but I see people my age and older also glued to their devices, no matter where they are.
And I’m not pretending to be perfect, as I try and catch myself in my weak moments. Just yesterday, I was listening to a podcast and caught myself opening up a social media app to start scrolling.
But why? I already had something thoroughly entertaining that I was listening to, so why did I feel the need to take yet another drug of distraction?
The dopamine loop
As humans, we are born with a biological drive to connect with others. When we connect with others, it gives our brains a hit of dopamine to reinforce the behavior. This can be linked to survival, as those who tried to forge a life alone were seldom successful in our early history.
So for all of our history, save for the last 20 or so years when social media came along, we had to physically go out to satisfy this urge for connection. Whether that was meeting up with friends at a restaurant, a sporting event, a bar, or even a park, we needed to get up and get ourselves ready to meet with others.
Today, we don’t have to do any of that. We don’t have to leave our homes or even our beds to get the flood of dopamine that was once a reward for us connecting in person.
When we use social media, we are artificially fulfilling our drive to connect with others. To exacerbate the problem, when we get a like, a retweet, or a notification, our brain receives even more dopamine. It feels great to our ape brains, but it also drives us to go after these cheap hits more often and forgo the more labor-intensive ones, like meeting people in person.
This cycle of the drive to connect, the path of least resistance to make that connection, and reward is a dopamine loop that gets users seeking and craving the false rewards that our phones offer.
One expert says,
“Compulsive users of social media tend to isolate… They’re chasing that constant reward system, which can lead to interpersonal problems, such as ignoring real-life relationships, work or school responsibilities, and one’s physical health.
In turn, they feel bad about their behavior and to escape that undesirable feeling, they double down on their social media behavior for relief. When social network users repeat this cyclical pattern of relieving undesirable moods with social media use, the level of psychological dependency on social media increases.”
Escaping our reality
Like the users of any powerful drug, once one is addicted to the said drug, they will forgo other needs, wants, and urges to chase that drug.
Unfortunately, our phones have become the most abused drug in the world. I would go so far as to say they are a gateway drug for many of the very real and tangible issues we face as a society, such as stress, anxiety, loneliness, and depression.
When someone finds themselves beginning to have unpleasant emotions or thoughts, they can very easily whip out their phone and “escape” to another reality. A reality in which they can portray themselves as somebody completely different and without problems. This allows them to put off facing the very real emotions they are having yet burying them behind a screen. Out of sight, out of mind.
The drug of distraction is terrible for those who lack motivation and purpose for the same reason. They might be upset with themselves for not figuring out what they want out of life, so they escape to watch others living the life they wish they had, living through them instead, all the while doing nothing for their fulfillment.
It could well be that the root of all of this is a person who is simply bored and trying to innocently fill the time, as I’m sure the people in our wellness studio were the other day.
When I was younger and didn’t have a phone, I wouldn’t dare say I was bored or my mom would make me clean the house. My only way to escape boredom was to go outside and see if any of my friends were home to play.
In today’s world, when someone is bored, they have a quick fix to it. But that quick fix can just as easily spiral into an addiction that can ruin relationships, your drive to be better, and your mental health.
Take action: I’d encourage everyone to pick up their phone right now (I know, counter-intuitive) and check what your screen time was last week. Then check which apps you found yourself on most. While doing this and being shocked, don’t get sidetracked by opening up one of these apps!
Now imagine what you could have accomplished with those same hours! If your screen time is more than you’d like it to be, I’d encourage you to set a limit on how much time you can spend on each app per day.
I would suggest that you cut your screen time each day in half by using these limits.
If you are at home, at work, or doing something else productive, and you find yourself reaching for your phone for a quick scroll, STOP and think about your to-do list for the day… Is there a better way to invest your time?
If you are out to eat or hanging out with family and friends, put your phone on airplane mode. You go out to meet these people because they’re important, so don’t make them feel less so by taking out your phone around them.
Be fully present with the people you are with and if you are by yourself, be fully present with your thoughts. Imagine how much more you can accomplish.
-Sebastian
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What breaks? My heart is the number of little children on their parents' phones because the parents can't stand to have them use their imagination or just have their thoughts. Wander they have to be constantly entertained by the screen.. studies have shown the children need to be bored because that's where imagination is born from! As an educator I have learned this the hard way. It's just breaks my heart .
There's a wonderful time for parents or educators to ask a child what they're thinking about and to start asking open-ended questions.
Yes, we're all guilty of this...
But as adults we can recognize this. I don't think children can properly recognize it because so far that's all they've known .
That is what scares me to death.
yeah the cell phone + social media has turned us all into brain dead zombies. Add in some AI and we are doomed. Getting dumber and dumber as we get "smarter".
I even find myself doing what you described, chasing my cell phone for "entertainment". Have to be very intentional and mindful to resist that. And yes children have already been sucked into that constant stimulation addiction. I think staying busy with honest endeavors, such as fitness, gardening, hiking, landscaping, animal husbandry, reading, etc. will help occupy your mind on more worthwhile things.